My Conversation With God

God has given me words of encouragement and spoken to me through different people, or scriptures, over the years.  There are even times I just know He has spoken to me even though I didn't hear His voice.  I can only count on one hand the number of times where I actually heard His audible voice like He was right there next to me.  I haven't shared this story with many people, but it has been weighing on my heart that someone may need to hear it.

In March of 2003 I gave birth to my 3rd child.  She was called a "toehead" more times than I can count.  But by the time she was 4 months old we started to realize it was something more.  Soon after she was diagnosed with albinism, which is a genetic condition where you have little or no pigment in your eyes, skin, or hair. 

My disclaimer - While most people know the term "albino" I have a hard time with this word.  This is my own personal opinion but, I feel, 'albinism' refers to the condition, whereas 'albino' refers to the person.  She's my daughter first, not an albino.  Ok, back to my story.....

Within that first year, I had a dream that God healed her.  I know, without a doubt, that someday He will.  Until then I pray, and wait.  I'm learning as I go, but on one specific occasion God left me speachless.  To this day I'm still speachless when I think of the conversation I had with Him.

I don't remember exactly how old my daughter was, but I think she was about 1 1/2 (so this was about 6 years ago).  I remember sitting at my kitchen table praying, crying out to God to heal her.  I wanted her to be able to see the deer in our backyard, or the butterflies, or any number of other things she can't see.  Part of the conversation left me awestruck, and I still remember the words exactly. 

This is what I told God.....

"You don't understand!  A mother just wants to make things better for their children!"

To which God responded.....

"She's mine too, and I know what I'm doing."

My jaw about fell to the ground. My heart started to race.  I didn't have any response.  I was speachless.  My heart still races when I think of that short, but direct conversation.  My heart still breaks, and I could still cry, over the things she can't see.  But I now have a peace about it that I didn't have that first year.  I don't know why I never thought of her as HIS daughter too.  Never dawned on me that He had a plan in all this.  That He might actually use her/this as a testimony.  So I wait.  And I still pray.  But I believe God's plan is so much greater than I can even fathom. 

Uplifting Your Spouse.....Even When You Don't Think Anyone Is Watching

What we say is so powerful.  We need to be consciously aware of this.  I am so aware when I hear people complaining about their spouse.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect or exempt here.  I don't bad mouth or complain about my husband, but, I've more than once, snapped at him in public because he didn't understand what I was trying to say.....or because I was tired.....or because.....well the list goes on.  He has never snapped back, and only once, has he ever said to me that I needed to check myself because others were worrying that there was something wrong.  I am so grateful God put us together.  I strive to think before I speak.  Needless to say, I'm still a work in progress.

Do you complain to your friends about your spouse? (I'm not looking for anyone to answer).  Or do you say uplifting things even though they're not there to hear?  This may make all the difference in your marriage.  Here's why...

My husband, and a bunch of guy friends, get together on a semi regular basis for breakfast and fellowship.  At one of these recent get togethers he decided he wanted to have a "chainsaw competition" with a friend of his. (don't laugh-lol).  He decided he was going to take my camera, which has video on it, and have someone tape it.  When he came home I loaded the video onto the computer for him.  As he was watching I heard him say, "Oh wow, they forgot to turn it off when we were done.  They got that on video?"  He did not sound surprised in a bad way, just surprised.  He called me over and told me to watch.  I couldn't believe what I heard!  He was complimenting me as a wife in front of all his friends!  Not bragging, just complimenting.  I can't tell you how much that meant.  I've never thought he would complain to them, but I didn't consider he would build me up either. 

That wasn't the only time.  About a month later he was sending out a text message and I happened to be walking up behind him.  Do you know what it said?  "My wife rocks!" with a picture of his birthday gift attached to the text. You see, I had bought him a smoker/grill for his birthday. Something I knew he would like.  But to him it was more.  He felt I had paid attention to what he would like. 

This got me thinking.  It's about building each other up.  Not tearing each other down.  Especially with our words and actions.  Words are SO powerful!  We need to consciously think everytime we speak.  And on the flip side of this, sometimes I think men need to hear these kinds of things even more. That's what I'm working on.  Call it my personal challenge....think before I speak.  And not just about your spouse.  We should be think before we speak about anyone or anything. 


~Kristine