Repurposing Myself

At the beginning of 2012 I gave myself a word for the year. The word I came up with was FOCUS. My goal was/is to be a better wife, mother, and example to my children.  By changing the things I don't like about myself, I can repurpose myself into the woman I want to be.  To be more purpose driven, I decided to pick areas that I feel I want to see the biggest change.

F - Faith & Family

O - Organization

C - Children

U - Unclutter

S - Scripture & School

I've set out to change these specific areas of my life to be a better example to my children. I don't feel like I'm terrible at these things, but I do feel we can all grow and change for the better. Some of this (mostly the unclutter & organize categories) will be the biggest challenge for me.  For those that don't know our family grew quickly, and in 8 years I went from being a mother of 1 to being a mother of 6. I let my organization slip because of lack of sleep and energy.

So, I'm beginning a new chapter of mothering the way God wants me to, so I can be an example that my daughters can some day look up to. I've decided to try to find time to blog again so that I can journal my progress.

What Makes A Family Large?

I seemed to be doing fine.  I had a 10 year old, a two year old, a one year old and I was 9 months pregnant.  Then Princess Giggles was born and my world was turned upside down. I've blogged about it in the past, and won't torture you with more woes but, for those that don't know, it was all I could do to put dinner on the table and do the laundry.  It seemed like 4 children had pushed me over the edge.  Now, in the midst of my chaos, I was hearing similar things from others. "It was hardest going from 3 to 4."  As hard as Princess Joy and Princess Sunshine have been, they still don't compare to the tears that were caused by my Princess Giggles (fitting name, right?!?)

I am leading up to a purpose here.  The more I have, the easier it gets.  But, I don't think many people agree with me.  When I go out in public with my "brood" (as they've been called) I always get the same question. "Are they ALL yours???"  They say it like I have 15 kids with me.  I'm used to it, but it drives my husband nuts!  It makes me wonder, by todays standards, what is a "large" family?  Obviously six is a lot from the comments I get, but how about 4?  I don't remember getting the comments when I only had 4.  I did however get them when I had 5.  Does that mean 4 children is ok, but 5 is "too many".  I'm far from upset by this (it's so hard to tell how someone means something in this day of internet).  I'm just curious. 

My mother was one of 11, so to me 6 is small.  I love my family size and wouldn't change it for anything in the world.  Just wondering how others see a family of 8?

My Conversation With God

God has given me words of encouragement and spoken to me through different people, or scriptures, over the years.  There are even times I just know He has spoken to me even though I didn't hear His voice.  I can only count on one hand the number of times where I actually heard His audible voice like He was right there next to me.  I haven't shared this story with many people, but it has been weighing on my heart that someone may need to hear it.

In March of 2003 I gave birth to my 3rd child.  She was called a "toehead" more times than I can count.  But by the time she was 4 months old we started to realize it was something more.  Soon after she was diagnosed with albinism, which is a genetic condition where you have little or no pigment in your eyes, skin, or hair. 

My disclaimer - While most people know the term "albino" I have a hard time with this word.  This is my own personal opinion but, I feel, 'albinism' refers to the condition, whereas 'albino' refers to the person.  She's my daughter first, not an albino.  Ok, back to my story.....

Within that first year, I had a dream that God healed her.  I know, without a doubt, that someday He will.  Until then I pray, and wait.  I'm learning as I go, but on one specific occasion God left me speachless.  To this day I'm still speachless when I think of the conversation I had with Him.

I don't remember exactly how old my daughter was, but I think she was about 1 1/2 (so this was about 6 years ago).  I remember sitting at my kitchen table praying, crying out to God to heal her.  I wanted her to be able to see the deer in our backyard, or the butterflies, or any number of other things she can't see.  Part of the conversation left me awestruck, and I still remember the words exactly. 

This is what I told God.....

"You don't understand!  A mother just wants to make things better for their children!"

To which God responded.....

"She's mine too, and I know what I'm doing."

My jaw about fell to the ground. My heart started to race.  I didn't have any response.  I was speachless.  My heart still races when I think of that short, but direct conversation.  My heart still breaks, and I could still cry, over the things she can't see.  But I now have a peace about it that I didn't have that first year.  I don't know why I never thought of her as HIS daughter too.  Never dawned on me that He had a plan in all this.  That He might actually use her/this as a testimony.  So I wait.  And I still pray.  But I believe God's plan is so much greater than I can even fathom. 

How to Tell if You are a MoM (Mother of Many)

Found this article on http://www.megafamilies.com/. Because I could relate to almost all of them on some level, I thought I'd share it with others.

You know you are a MoM (Mother of Many) when:

1. You know where the bathroom is in any major store you visit.

2. Your car has more seatbelts than windows.

3. Your grocery budget is higher than your house payment.

4. You do most of your thinking and praying in the bathroom.

5. Creative decorating means lots of bookshelves and bunkbeds.

6. You no longer carry a purse, but use the diaper bag instead.

7. Your idea of good commercial building design means a comfy mother's lounge.

8. You constantly find yourself marveling how short the time is between birth and toddling, birth and schoolage, birth and graduation, etc.

9. Even your two year old knows that they must hold someone's hand in the grocery store.

10. You have a routine for stopping pacifiers, toilet training, cup training, and every childhood “phase”.

11. You have at least three witty replies to "Are they all yours?"

12. You just really wish people would not think they were clever for saying, "Don't you know what causes that?"

13. You have forgotten how many times you have been asked, "Are you Mormon or Catholic?"

14. You are still afraid to tell your husband how many more kids you want!

15. Your food storage takes up more room than your entire kitchen... And that is just for this week!

16. You have so much laundry that when you finally get to the bottom of the pile, it's actually stuck to the floor!

17. You spend a lot of time at church in the foyer or mother’s lounge, wondering why you can’t just stay home and listen to the baby fuss there!

18. You spend more money on diapers each month than you do on entertainment!

19. You instantly sympathize with any woman who is obviously pregnant in the middle of summer.

20. You are up to double digits in years that you have spent with a baby attached to you in one way or another!

21. Taking the kids grocery shopping with you makes you feel like a mother duck.

22. You hate carpools because you know who is going to get stuck doing the driving.

23. When you see photos of castles and grand mansions, all you can think is how many bedrooms it has (YES!), and how much space all those other rooms provide for the kids to mess up (NO WAY!).

24. You know that every time you move the couch or couch cushions, you will find Cheerios under them.... Even if you have not had Cheerios in the house!

25. You know the “law of crumbs”. “Any food item that will crumble will produce twice its own weight in crumbs.”

26. You know by experience that paint NEVER dries until it has been spread around in all the places you did NOT want it to be.

27. You know what to use to remove lipstick, shortening, and indelible marker from any surface.

28. You know how to get smashed raisins out of a carpet, and how to get bubblegum out of hair, and so do all your older kids.

29. You are certain one of your kids is sneaking rolls of toilet paper out of the house and selling them because you know there is no way they could be using that much of it, even if there ARE a lot of bottoms in your house.

30. When you go to order fast food, you order 6 hamburgers, one with ketchup only, one plain, one with no pickles or onions, two with no pickles, onions or mustard, and one with nothing but cheese, plus one fish sandwich, one chicken sandwich, one large hamburger, and one large hamburger with bacon. You then have to repeat yourself three times so the person at the window can get it right.

31. When your kids are learning a foreign language, you wonder how it is that they can find the words to insult each other faster than they can find the words to say “I'm sorry.”

32. If two kids bring home identical toys from their kid's meal, you know you have to put names on them first thing, or they will fight over whose is whose, even if both of them have one in their hand.

33. You spend a lot of time looking at the little kids, urging them on to the next step, while still wishing they could stay little just a bit longer.

34. You have a full baby book for your first two children, half of one for the next one, and nearly empty baby books or none at all for the later ones.

35. When the many-times-handed down clothing is finally too worn out to hand down again, you still have a hard time letting it go because it has so many good memories attached.

36. You don't have a wardrobe of “fat clothes” and “skinny clothes”. You have "regular clothes”, “pregnant clothes”, and “nursing clothes”.

37. When a child outgrows something, you put it away in a box in the closet or garage, even if you don't have a younger child of that gender, because you just know you are going to need it eventually!

38. Your idea of a great dining set is one that has lots of expansion leaves. When you see a corporate boardroom on TV, all you can think is what a great dining table the conference table would make.

39. You can list at least three different technological advances in diaper design which you, personally, have used on your kids.

40. You have at least one specialized medical skill because at least one of your kids has some kind of potentially risky condition which you deal with.

41. You sometimes wonder how it is that other moms get really nice gifts for holidays, and you end up with 6 pieces of cardboard with “I love you Mom your the best.” written on it in crooked writing. And you have a box in your closet that you put them in.

42. You cook dinner in pots large enough to bathe a baby in, and frequently lament over the insufficient size of convenience appliances like mixers, waffle irons, and crock pots – and you compromise by owning two of each.

43. Your car is large enough to hold the entire family, but if you go camping, you have to rent a trailer just to hold all the camping equipment.

44. You can't believe with the size of the larger RVs out there that they couldn't fit more beds into at least ONE of them, and you really wish they'd design one with two bathrooms!

45. If you see a home design with a Master Retreat room, you think what a great nursery it would make.

46. You can quote entire pages from Dr. Seuss without having to pause to think about it, and can sing any number of Raffi or Disney songs from memory.

47. You can think of more than three great Christmas gifts for a child of any age... Because you always have a child close to the age in question!

48. You have at least one story stored up for each of your kids which is guaranteed to embarrass them if you recount it in public.

49. You know, and are thankful, that when they get too old to send to their rooms, that possession of the car keys gives you the ultimate power!

50. When the first two kids move out, you can't believe how much smaller your family feels.

51. You think that a mini-van is just too small to be a practical family car - but you wish they'd make a shopping cart about that size!

52. Getting the whole family to fit into the Wal-Mart photo booth, and then getting a picture when nobody is crying, making bunny ears, blinking, or sticking their finger in their nose is a major triumph!

53. Your stretchmarks might better be described as "pleats".

54. Your kids don't need as many toys, because they always have someone to play with.

55. Other people dream of buying a Porche or other sports car, but all you can think is that it wouldn't be good for anything because it is not cheap enough for your husband to commute in, and it doesn't have enough seats for the family, and there's no WAY you are going to let your teenager drive that!

56. You have to take off your shoes to count all the kids.

Written by Laura Wheeler

Co-Owner of Firelight Business Enterprises, Inc, and Firelight Web Studio – Laura writes instructional materials, produces infosites, and builds affordable websites for her business startup clients. Her varied experience allows her to give exceptional service, and to produce instructions on a surprising range of topics. Laura is a busy mom of eight, homeschooler, and home business owner.

This article may be reprinted if it is unaltered, and if the signature line is included with the article..

 

Pacifier Addiction Withdrawals - Update

I didn't want to bore everyone with daily updates, but I did want to continue, because I'm sure there is someone out there who needs encouragement that they can get through this. You can do it! Just have patience.

Day 4 - We made HUGE progress today.  I noticed periods of time where she was actually playing and had forgotten about it.  Not long periods, but progress non the less.  Total crying time: Approx. 8 hours. YAY!!!

Day 5 - Much the same as Day 4.  A few more periods of time without missing it, but not many more.  I'm beginning to feel like its working though.

Day 6  - Today was MUCH better. She's still asking....and still crying, but she's going longer in between.  Total crying time: Approx. 5 hours.  WOOHOO!!!

Day 8 - I think we're going to make it.  Lots of crying first thing when she gets up, lots of crying in the car, but other than that just a bunch of whining to see if I'll give in.  She's truly ecstatic when naptime comes and I give it to her. We're down to about 2 - 3 hours of crying! YEAH!!!

I'm starting to think that maybe I was as addicted to it as she was :). After all I was giving it to her because I didn't like the pitch of her scream. Because it kept her quiet there was a benefit in it for the rest of us.  But, around Day 6 I noticed a BIG improvement in her speech.  Before, only about 50% of her words were clear, now it's about 75%.  It's getting easier to have a conversation with her now.

Car rides are still the hardest.

I'll continue to update every few days on how it's going, but I don't think there will be any more drastic changes on a daily basis.  If you're weaning your child, or thinking of doing it, just know you need to stick with it. You can do it!!!

Pacifier Addiction Withdrawals - Day 3

SOOO tempted to give it back.  I won't, but I'm losing my hair from pulling it all out.  When we took the pacifier from Princess Smiles (who is now 8) it only took 3 days and then she stopped asking.  Let me just assure you, this is NOT the case with Princess Joy.  I'm not sure she'll ever stop asking at the rate she's going.  LOL This is the face I get all the time when she's whining for it.

I was able to distract her for small amounts of time throughout the day - maybe 10 - 15 minutes 4 or 5 times.  We're taking baby steps, but at least we're moving :)

Total crying time: Approx. 9 - 10 hours.

Hopefully we show better progress tomorrow.

Pacifier Addiction Withdrawals - Day 2

Day 2 was not better than day 1.  When she woke up I took it, and hid it, right away.  Within 10 or 15 minutes she was crying for it.  The entire day was like this.  Crying, whining....whining, crying.  Let's just say I'm almost bald from pulling my hair out. LOL  I was determined to get through this, but not sure how much more I could take.  Everyone was starting to complain of a headache from the constant crying, including her!  I was sooo tempted to give in just for some peace and quiet, but realized that's what got us here in the first place.  So, I stuck it out.

The lost pacifier was found in the afternoon by one of my older girls.  She found it in the dirty laundry.....ewww!  Thankfully, she brought it to me instead of giving it to Princess Joy.  We made it! Somehow I'm not convinced this will get any easier anytime soon.  We'll see.

Total crying time: Approx. 10-11 hours.

A Mother's Day Tribute

My mother raised me on her own until I was 8 years old. At that time she married a wonderful man, who adopted me, and treated me as his own. She was only married to my dad for 9 years when he suddenly passed away. This time she was left with 4 children to raise on her own. Let me just tell you she is amazing! I wouldn't be the woman, or mother, I am today if it weren't for her love and guidance. She never gave up on me (that's for another blog entry), and for that I am forever grateful.

She is an amazing mother.

She is an amazing grandmother.

But most of all...

She is an amazing woman!

I thought it was quite fitting that she ended up getting married on Mother's Day weekend. I'm not sure why. Maybe because she's been an amazing mother and she deserves the perfect gift of happiness. Maybe it's just because so many have prayed, for so long, that someone would come into her life and give her a love like no other. I thank God for bringing her somone who loves her, makes her laugh, brings her joy, and puts a smile on her face. Now she'll get to be an amazing wife!

I Love You, Mom! Happy Mother's Day!

Back to Reality

For the first 3 weeks after out little Princess Sunshine was born I was amazed. I couldn't believe how well I was doing keeping up with everything and still having time to do the things I love. I crocheted 2 hats for her and started a couple other projects, I sewed a nursing coverup, I read 2 books....I was amazed! I didn't realize 6 kids would be easier than 5. I was keeping up with laundry, cooking dinner, and my house wasn't any more disorganized than normal (if anything I was getting more done). I really couldn't figure it out, to the point where I kept trying to understand how this was so easy. And then it hit me!

I had decided last summer to start school early with the girls (I homeschool), for the specific reason that I wanted to take a month off when I had the baby. Here I was thinking I had my world under control, when it was all really just because I was saving myself hours worth of school work every day. I knew at that moment that I would not be as in control the following week when we started up assignments again.  So, I decided to do half days the first week so I didn't shock my system. LOL

So far, so good. I don't have a spotless house and I'm not doing 2 loads of laundry every day like I used to, but we're surviving. If I ever do have time to myself again, the first thing I may do is type up the dozen or so crochet patterns that I have created.  For some reason, in those crazy first few weeks, I thought maybe I could type them up while nursing my new baby girl.  Never dawned on me it's a little difficult to type with one hand.  lol  I wouldn't change this time in my life for anything. It goes by so quickly that I want to enjoy every moment before it's gone.

New Year's Resolutions

I've always believed New Year's resolutions were a waste. Most people don't follow through with them (in my opinion), and therefore, why bother. I always just thought, "If you want to do something....do it now, today, don't wait for a new year". But I've recently begun to think differently. A new year can mean a fresh start, especially if the previous year was a difficult one. For some, the new year can be a time to refresh your thoughts, your mind, and your determination.

Websters defines resolution as the following.....a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something. The keywords in that definition are "determination" & "firm". Without the determination we are almost guaranteed to fail (I said almost....some may not).

Last year was a year of listening for me. I knew God was telling me change was coming. Change in friendships, change in home life, change in myself, & more. I know God is faithful, but I struggled. The loss of a couple key friendships, that I thought of as blessings, broke my heart more than those friends will ever know. But I knew I was on the path God wanted me on, and for that reason alone I continued on.

Then, as new years came upon us, my husband and I were talking about 'resolutions' and what the new year would bring for us. When I told him what I wanted to change about myself (I want to be a better wife, a better mother, have more patience), he told me not to 'beat myself up'. But I had to reassure him. These are the areas God wants me to work on.

So, as I begin this new year, I do have resolutions. But those resolutions are more about my determination to follow God's lead and do the best I can. If I stumble along the way. that doesn't necessarily mean I have failed. It means I need to stand firm and have the determination to try again.

I encourage you to have the determination to follow through with whatever your resolutions may be. Don't consider yourself a failure if you stumble or fall. Just pick yourself up & try again.

Laughter

Laughter does not come easy for me. Don't get me wrong - I'm not a miserable person. I enjoy my life very much, but I have a hard time finding laughter in the midst of life, especially when it throws me a curve ball. As God works on me I'm noticing my children are much more able to laugh at a frustrating moment than I am. I've decided I want to see life through the eyes of a child. My children have been such a great inspiration as I learn to find laughter in the little moments.

Motherhood

Motherhood - I love it! There is nothing I would rather do with my life. I have recently stepped back from some activities just to spend more time at home with my children. After a few weeks of my newfound "freedom" - so to speak - a friend told me I needed to "take a break from taking a break". At the time I thought 'nope, I'm loving this' and I wished there was more time on my plate I could free up. So, the more I ponder my friends statement the more sad it makes me. If I was given the option of going out for a cup of coffee with a friend or going for ice cream with my husband & kids I'm happy to say I'd choose the latter. No offense to my friends but I'm glad I don't "need a break" from my family. I hope & pray I'm not alone. I believe our husbands & our children need to know that, aside from God, they are the most important people in our lives. I'm still a work in progress but I pray God shows me the path HE wants me to take.