A Struggling Reader

This little girl has definately had her struggles.  From birth she didn't sleep more than 4-5 hours in a 24 hours period. (We survived 1 1/2 years of that). She has done everything 'late' from walking at 18 months to not saying a word until after she turned 3 years old.  She does not like change to the point where she shows signs of mild anxiety when something changes.

And, did I mention she's very strong willed?  My hubby used to joke and say there's no way she got it from him, it had to be passed down from me.  I've decided it must be a combination of the both of us put together, because she's got me beat by a long shot. LOL.  When you combine these 2 things......watch out!

She started out the school year very gung-ho. After all, she has two older sisters whom she watches.  She's a slower learner than the other two so it's taking her a while to catch on to things, but she's getting them.  I'm ok with that, but it has not been easy for her.  She is struggling to grasp the concept of phonics.  Letters and sounds are fine, but putting them together isn't working for her.  On days like today, when that strong will kicks in, we battle.  Not because she needs to learn it right now.  I fully believe she'll get it with time and practice.  I just want her to try.  It's the effort I care about, not how fast we make progress.  On days like today, it's the stubborness that drives me nuts!  She decided she didn't want to try to sound out a word and down-right refused, to the point where she wouldn't even tell me what a specific letter sound made.  Some days I just can't tell whether she can't do it or she won't do it.  I've only had one other day as hard as this one.  I told her she wasn't getting up until she at least tried and gave it an effort.  (If you ever try this - it won't work if you're frustrated - then they just get frustrated). I left her there to think about it while I worked with the other girls. She sat there adamant that she wasn't going to do it for at least an hour. Then, out of the clear blue, she told me what the word was, and asked if she could be done for the day. ugh!  Needless to say I was glad she could read the word without help, but my suspisions were right. Today it wasn't that she couldn't do it - she just wouldn't do it. I'm glad I didn't 'lose my temper' or get frustrated. That would have only made it worse.  Praying tomorrow is a better day with a fresh perspective.

The Waiting Game

For those that don't know me, I'm a black and white kinda girl. I just like to know what I'm dealing with, no matter what it is.  Major things are not a big deal to me. (For example: our wedding photographer cancelled less than a month before my wedding and I was calm about it. I didn't see what getting worked up about it would do). Here's my downfall.....it's the small stuff that drives me crazy. Yes, I do believe I'm backwards but for some reason that's the way I'm wired.

I like to know what's going to happen and then I can deal with it. Doesn't matter if it's something 'big' or not.  It's the not knowing that can drive me nuts at times. Maybe some would say it's a control thing, but I don't think so. I don't need it my way, I just want some time to prepare and/or deal with whatever it is.

With that being said, one of those issues for me is, when will this baby come? Mind you, I'm not sick of being pregnant, I don't just 'want it over with', or anything like that. I'm one of those people who have fairly easy pregnancies and I genuinely like being pregnant. It's the waiting game that can bug me. I just want to know when. For the most part it doesn't matter if it's early, on time, or late. I just like to be prepared....mark it on my calendar, so to speak. Don't get me wrong. I know it's in God's timing and His timing is perfect, but can't I get the date so I can write it on the calendar?

And then today God showed me something. When our children have a birthday (or anyone for that matter) we don't tell them what we got them for a present, do we?  No. We like to surprise them.  If we told them it would take the fun & suspense out of the time we put into our gift giving. God wants the same for us. This baby will come when God is ready to give me this precious gift, and not a moment sooner. Too bad I couldn't wait a couple weeks longer. She would make the perfect birthday gift for me.....

Frugal Friday

Over the year or two I've noticed our food bill going up with each shopping excursion.  As our family gets bigger it gets harder and harder to stay within a budget. I've tried different things to see where we can cut our costs. Some have worked, and some haven't. So, I've decided to share what has worked for our family.

One of the first things I did was create a dinner calendar. I downloaded a calendar straight from Microsoft. You don't need anything fancy. Just 12 months and one block for each day of the month.  I make it out at least 2 weeks in advance, sometimes even 3. I started doing two weeks at a time because my hubby only gets paid 2x a month and I was struggling at the end of the pay period to have enough for another trip to the store. I found that by making this out in advance, I can buy items I use more often in bigger containers (which ends up costing less per oz.).

You then can look at the calendar, make a list of items you will need, and shop only from that list. By not 'winging it' you will make less trips to the store & if you really stick to your list you will spend less.

I'm not strict with this list. If I'm running late one day I will look to a day that has something quick I can make. I'll just switch the two dinners to make it work for me. This will also help make dinner at a consistent time each night. I used to start searching at 5:00 for something to make. We eat at 6:00, so this quickly became a problem.

For a brief period right around the holidays I stopped making a schedule. I found my stress level at dinner time was much higher. It didn't take me long to get back in the groove again. Now that I've been doing it a while I can definately see the benefits.

If you have any other ideas I'd love to hear them. I'm always looking for more ways to cut back.

Wordless Wednesday

Battling Fear

I'm not one who battles fear normally.  I usually think of myself as pretty calm and rational.  But from the moment I found out I was pregnant again I have been fighting this fear of labor and delivery.  For the most part, I have very uneventful pregnancies but the deliveries are the opposite.  Most people don't know that I struggle with this, and I don't say anything, but this fear is very real.  I have been feeling the need to blog about it.....so maybe I'm not alone after all. 

Out of the 5 deliveries I've had, only one was 'normal'. The other 4 had complications, each one with a different issue. Unfortunately, my deliveries seem to get harder the more I have, so the thought of having another one has been scary for me.  Very early on in this pregnancy I told my doctor "I just want to be a statistic." She looked at me funny. Then I explained myself.  Statistics have shown that the more children a woman has, the early she goes into labor and the quicker her labors are.  I have defied those odds with all of mine.  She said that I needed to tell myself over and over, (and I quote) "Say 'I am average' and then believe it."  I took those words to heart that day and have repeated it over and over. 

Then a friend suggested I read the book "HypnoBirthing".  I'm not into hypnosis (and told her that) but she said there were a lot of good suggestions in the book. I decided to read the book. I would take from it what I could and leave the rest.  By page 3 I knew exactly why I was supposed to read the book.  Fear creates stress and tension. When you have stress and/or tension it is counterproductive to your contractions and will actually slow your labor down.  (Put aside the 'problems' I've had, I've also had very long labors).  I'm still working on it, but from that point on I started to feel some relief about my upcoming delivery.

Today I got home from my dr. appt. and really felt like I was supposed to open the Bible and read something. I picked it up and opened it.  What I was looking for was in Proverbs but as the Bible opened I looked down.  God wanted me to see something else.....The very first thing my eyes saw were:

"The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid." 

Psalm 118: 6 

From this moment on I'm going to keep reciting that over and over to myself.  I'm planning on God doing something amazing.  I have some great testimonies from this pregnancy already and I can't wait to see the testimony that comes from putting my trust in Him.