Friday, August 13, 2010

Forgiving vs. Forgeting

With the pain of a broken friendship comes the time when you need to forgive.  But forgiving is not the same as forgetting.  It's much harder to forget that hurt that goes so deep.  I recently realized this when I felt my blood pressure rising over the simplest thing....someone who heard the rumors about me will no longer even look at me.  I guess it shouldn't bother me.  After all, were they really a friend if they didn't even ask my side of the story?  Needless to say, I felt myself grow agitated, and had no idea that this person could still indirectly do this to me.  The pain is obviously much deeper than even I thought possible.  I still have so many unshed tears.  I don't take friendships lightly, so to have something thrown away so easily really bothers me.  Don't get me wrong, there are 2 sides to every story.  The hurt is not so much from what happened but the things that were said about me.  They hurt greatly and I lost many 'friends' because of those hurtful words. 

So, how do you forget?  How do you get to a level of not letting it bother you?  You see, we go to the same church, so its unavoidable to never have to see/hear about this person again.  God has taught me much through this trial, but I still haven't learned how to let go of the hurt.  I just keep praying that someday God will take the pain and replace it with understanding.


hron said...

I understand. God bless.

Leslie said...

I've been there, having to break up with my best childhood friend last year. I was heart broken but realized that the friendship would always be one sided and that I was making the right choice by cutting the strings.
I have a hard time with forgetting things also. I forgive, then later I think about things and the hurt feelings are fresh again.
It is my flaw and something that I will forever need to work on.

I'm sorry that you are going through this.

Doris Sturm said...

A true friend does not walk away - they stay and ask questions to get to the truth. They listen with compassion and caring. You ever heard of this saying, that "a true friend knows all about you and loves you anyway?" (not to say you did anything wrong, I'm just stating what a true friend should be like.) I don't understand people who go to Church regularly and can still be judgmental and onesided - it never ceases to amaze me - don't they listen to the scriptures?


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