I started this blog because I felt God was changing things up in my life. One of those things being friendships. I have had a hard time, more than once this year, over the loss of, what I felt, was a good friendship. I tend to take things personally even though I try not to. It just breaks my heart that a friend would willingly end a friendship without trying to work things out. Because I think too much I wanted to know what the true meaning of friendship was. I decided a good place to start was Websters, which says:
a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard
a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
Those definitions lead me to believe I have lost two friendships, which was not really what I wanted to hear. So I decided a better place to turn was to the bible. The very first verse that came to mind was:
A friend loves at all times. ~Proverbs 17:17
Which leads me back to my struggle......Have I lost these friends for good? I do trust God and I know He will help me walk through this, but it doesn't make the path any easier. It does, however, have me turning to Him for guidance and direction.........Maybe I should have been blogging all along.
1 comment:
Maybe you SHOULD blog all the time
;-) It is so nice to have you back!
Friendship is hard, definitely something I have stuggled with over my life. I am sorry you are having such a hard time with friendship this year.
I know that pain too well. For ten years I cried almost daily over broken one-sided, gone bad-belly-up kind of friendships. I cried to God, but He left me alone.
I invited everyone over, I gave and gave and gave...only to find rejection. The devil would speak from his throne of lies, that there was something wrong with me, that no one would ever be my friend. I grew more and more insecure, became more and more closed off to even the possibility, because honestly, it was just too raw.
I actually stopped praying about it. I had no more tears left. I was empty. I had no hope left. So I focused on a friendship with God. I spent more time talking to him, listening to him and enjoying His friendship. I wasn't so lonely. Then about 7 years ago, God moved in one of His *suddenlies.*
He brought me two friends...and strong Christian women. We met in our church's Alpha class. We ended up opening a ministry together at church and serving the Deaf for 2 years together. WE began extremely close. Awhile later, my Alpha teacher became one of my closest friends too. All of us were in that class together, all of us had struggled in similar ways-God was (is) on the move!
They are the ones that speak the truth to me in love, they laugh with me and cry with me, they are my biggest supporters in adoption and they love my children as their own. They pray for me and give me wise counsel...they are exactly what I had asked God for.
The years of pain led me to God, let me trust Him with the detail of *when* and with who. I stopped looking and trying and honestly He dropped them in my lap.
I have behaved badly at times with them, tried to push them away, when fear of letting them too close seemed possible. They fought for my friendship, they fought for me. I still have loads of things they need to help me work on in regards to my weaknesses...but each of us fall on our knees for each other and love each other with unconditional God love. It really is pretty amazing.
I say all of this to encourage you to trust God through the pain. I think you have found wisdom in that bible verse and in your dictionary word search.
I have several posts on my blog under the category friendship, pertaining to my journey with it.
Praying for you Kristine. I am so sorry that you are having to face this again. Humble yourself under His hand and trust Him with your hearts desire(s)and HE WILL GIVE YOU the
desire(s). of your heart.
Sending a hug.
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